November 22

Hey Everyone!

Weekly blogging time :)  I hope you all are well! Im doing great again this week! God is soooo good and has been showing me his faithfulness on more levels than I can even explain. Some days I am blown away with how merciful he is with me, and all my ranting and raving.

            God has just been bringing new people into my life and letting me develop so many new friendships!! I am so blessed! I have just really been finding more and more friends and I enjoy so much being able to break out of the group I have always been a part of. I think I am driven to find new people to hangout with because I am just trying so hard to change what I was settling into, I don’t want just random, luke-warm relationships with people and with God, I want realness, and transparency and reliability. God has been so good in bringing that into my life and with every new relationship that develops I find it easier and easier to step away from the bad habits it was continually finding myself in so far this semester. Not to say that I don’t still struggle with them , its still hard for me to say no to going out drinkin with the group and whatnot, but its easier for me to say no when I can make other plans with other people. I just don’t want to be defined by that anymore and God is being so faithful in presenting opportunities for me to step away from those bad habits.

            Thinking about opportunities… I finally applied for the job as student intern this week, its scary… if I get this I move here, I don’t know, peeps think its not any different than what I am doing now and think that its not that big of deal but I guess to me it is , like, the final act of childhood. Like right now, still being a student, I would still refer to Lethbridge and my house as my “home”. but me moving here – like really moving here, is making this my home. Instead of me coming here for part of the year I might go to Lethbridge for a short time in the year… like really making this my home, all on my own. I don’t know lol maybe I am over thinking it but I just think that its like the final step of leaving my childhood behind, which is frightening and exciting for me. So applying for the job was a big deal, if I get it I am committed to it. I’m just really trying to leave it in God’s hands, if God wants me here in Abby he will give me the job, if he wants me in Lethbridge he wont J that’s how I am going to take it and I will be content with either one.

            I guess that’s part of the growth too, normally I am the kind of person who plans and gets anxious over what’s coming and where I will end up and who I might end up with. But lately I have just found a sense of contentment. This might seem foolish but I think that God placed the things I desire (to be a wife, mother, and have a career) in my heart and I don’t think he would place them there then take them away… so I know it will come eventually. So I am just trying to have the attitude of , like, “that is coming either way so why don’t you just enjoy the time that your are at in your life right now” I am finding contentment, where I don’t have to go out and search for things to make my life fall into place the way “I want it” too, but just trusting that it will all come together exactly the way God wants it too which will be so much better than my idea of good anyways! So its good :) 

            Anyhoo, this weekend was good. It was very relaxing, I cleaned and hingout with friends. Erin and Amanda and I went to the newest twilight—breaking dawn part one. I was actually pretty impressed. I have read the books and I enjoyed them but I have always thought that the movies were pretty much awful. But this one was actually really well done! I enjoyed it haha I think they are finally learning how to act and with all the money they are making now they can afford to do the graphics better and stuff in the movies. Anyways it was fun. Then right after that we came home and watched Voyage of the Dawn Treader with Bob, so lots of movies in one night but it was a good night J again, its nice to just be hanging out with new people and doing new things, not that my other friends aren’t flippen fantastic, I just like meeting new peeps.

            I need to call UFV today, I gotta set up a meeting to find out about nursing cause I think that, that is what I want to do next year. But I am worried… I know I can do it, I know I can. Its just going to be hard and I am scared. Lol how typical of me. But ya, I am procrastinating at starting the whole process, which I shouldn’t be doing at all.

            So ya, that’s me right about now. I hope you are all well and thank you for everyone who is praying for me, know that our God is amazing and is working in incredible ways, prayers never go unheard and I am so blessed to have people like you praying for me in my life. I love you all !! 

ethical reasoning is the time to blog ;)

Hey everyone!

So Im in Ethical Reasoning which means that its my weekly time slot to blog :) worst class ever lol

This week has been good! I think the heavy crazy part of my semester is pretty much over, which is actually weird for me, because I keep going to the library and sitting there realizing I really dont need to be there. So, thats interesting... I can actually do things on the weekends now which is also fun. This weekend was great, I pretty much did nothing all weekend. All day Friday and Saturday I hung out with some friends (Bob and Ryan) and then on Friday night a bunch of us got together and watched Lord of the Rings! it was excellent! I had never seen them before so I really enjoyed it. On Saturday night we all went to a hockey game in Van , it was good - I realized I think hockey is a really boring sport lol but its a nice social event ;) Then on Sunday night Erin, Hannah and I went to The Civil Wars concert, it was INCREDIBLE! I have never heard anything so beautiful, I was actually awestruck... it was fabulous, those people are so talented. Then after the Concert we walked around down town for a bit which is always interesting at night. Van has some interesting people. Also on Sunday morning Erin and I got to meet Barb for breakfast, it was so good to see her, she is such a darling. So ya , the weekend was really good! I got lots of rest, am not behind in my homework, and did some fun things! Im feeling good.

Slowly Im becoming more motivated again... I really lost my motivation for a while there but I can feel it coming back. All last week I just wanted to go running - so I went for a whole bunch of really long runs which felt great because this year I haven't been working out at all which makes me feel sick :( So it was good to start working out again. I am going to be earlier and already I notice it , its a chain reaction- when I go to bed on time, I get up on time, have time to work out, eat healthier, manage my time better which means more time for devotions, which means a girl who is MUCH happier than she was 2 weeks ago. Its been much better :)

So there is only a month left in this semester... its weird and sad and bittersweet. I am excited to go home for christmas and see my family and I am excited for a break from school but it actually makes me so sad that time is going by so quickly. I only have a semester and a month at CBC left :( sad day. Its also a little anxiety evoking because I really want to do nursing next year but I just feel like I have no motivation for school especially real, hard, school like nursing. I am worried I might fail - I also have to do so much upgrading for Nursing... I know I could be smart enough to do it if I motivated myself but part of me just doesn't think I have it in me, so perhaps I am not quite smart enough ;) Either way , I emailed UFV yesterday to find out what my options are. I don't know where I would want to take nursing maybe here... maybe even at home in Lethbridge... I don't know lol WORST!

Lately I have also been thinking about just doing something like YWAM or something- just go off and do something different for a year or so... but I am also already 20 so I feel like I need really get started on my career. HA so much to think about.

Anyways - the gist of it all is that things are good on this end. There is lots of stuff I am still working through but I feel the Lord standing right beside me and I am trying my hardest to trust him in every aspect of my life. God is so faithful and I am so blessed to be here at CBC with the freedom to be taking these courses.

I hope all of you are doing well also ! I love hearing from you so facebook me or phone me!! God Bless!

November 8...

Well, today is the day, its November 8th. Bill died two years ago today. Someone challenged me yesterday to really celebrate Bill's life today so thats what I have been doing. This morning I woke up early, had a delicious cup of hazelnut bean coffee, donned my camp shirt with the moose butt on the back and have been trying to celebrate everything Bill said all day long. Thinking about him so much makes me miss him more but I like remembering.

I just cant believe two years have already gone by, this made me think of all the things that have happened in the last two years! huge things in my life! I moved to a different province, am in my second year of college, 2 of my sisters got married! there is just so much! Its crazy to me... time really doesn't stop for anyone, thats scary, feel like its going to fast. Today I realized that I only have about 5 months left at CBC :( worst! I cant believe how quick its going! Its scary too cause this means that I should have some sort of plan on what I will be doing next year.But I dont. WORST! lol I need to start looking at schools for nursing and finding out if i need to upgrade or not! so much to do! so little time!

On a lighter note :) this weekend is the first weekend I have off in SO long! so I am trying to get some friends together to go to Van or Seattle or something fun like that! I hope it works out

This week was definitely better for me. I tried to get to bed earlier and managed to once or twice which actually made a difference :) I also have really been making more time for my devotions and God is so faithful in meeting me where I am at. I wrote a paper on Jonah this week and even though it was a little bit stressful it was a wake up call for me. I realized I am much like Jonah in a way that I have been shaking my fist at God and telling him what I think should be done and expecting him to listen to me, and that is just ridiculous! I do not know better than God and while I was writing Jonah I just saw so clearly how patient God was being with me, letting me , like we would let a small child, have a tantrum while at the same time, never letting me go, and never stopping pouring out his abundant grace and love on me. What an incredible God we serve! So though I am not back on the top rung yet I feel like I am finally on my way back up the hill.

I am starting to really miss my family! I cant wait to go home for christmas and see them all along with all my amazing friends! today I got mail from Syb and it just made me realized how blessed I am to have such great people in my life. I miss the kidlets. Chloe, Maddy, Kam , Noah and little Zeke who I feel like I hardly even know! I cant wait to hug and kiss them!

anyways I should really be listening to my prof, Ill catch ya on the flip side ;)

my second attempt :)

Hey everyone !

so this is actually my second attempt at my second blog :) yesterday I blogged for almost an hour and when I went to go post , my internet had timed out and I lost everything I had written. So, here we go again.

I am doing a blog again because I just think its a good way for people to keep up. I also hope in some ways this blog can let my friends know what my prayer requests are :)

School is OK. we just finished mid term week so that means we are officially in "term paper week" which is , oh boy, its a long one for sure. I am just finding myself a wreck this year when it comes to school. I have had an extremely difficult time keeping up with my reading, homework , and studying. I am just finding that I have lost motivation for school. Cause all of this I failed 3 midterms, which really isn't the bad part , the bad part is that I really , honestly don't care. Maybe its cause Im still passing all my classes just fine or maybe its something else. whatever it is, school is just not appealing to me in my life right now.

the rest of my life is also Ok. I cant lie and say I have been top notch - its been a really rough year so far but I know that God is still working and there even if I cant feel that right now. I have been developing new relationships with new people who i never talked with last year so that has been good. Recently I have been tossing around the idea of staying in Abby permanently, over the summer and then into my next school year -- possibly at UFV. With the tossing of this idea I realize that I cant stay unless I have a solid group of people around here, I am far too social of a person to stay here and not have a group of people I can hangout with and call up on the weekends. So its been interesting ,  making friends with all these new people, its been a bit overwhelming but still I think ultimately it will be a good thing for me.

Its november 2nd which means that we are 6 days away from it being two years since Bill died. Maybe thats what adds to all the craziness of this year... I figured that it would get easier without him after a while but it doesn't, I still miss him like the day he died. I guess its been hard for me not to be mad at God for taking him away. I just dont understand sometimes...

In any extent, I am doing ok out here in Abby, I miss all my people at home terribly and I miss my family all the time but its good to be here and I am so blessed to have this opportunity at CBC I hope all of you are well !!

God Bless!