I am learning to pray.
I mean, I’ve always “known” how to pray, but I’m learning that praying is everything. I am learning
how absolutely essential it is. I’m also learning that most times, all I really
can do is pray. I have always told people, the
CIT’s I worked with this summer, the kids I have counseled at summer camp over
the years, and more recently, my team, that “prayer is the very most you can do.” Meaning that sometimes when all we can do is pray, and
it feels like we are doing nothing of value, nothing that holds real weight or
merit, we are actually doing the most. We are giving our best when we pray. I
have always said this and I have always believed this, but since coming to
Thailand God sure is stretching me in this.
Each week us Trekkers follow a fairly
regular schedule. Two times a week us girls help at a preschool in Huay Yen. (actually we just painted the entire preschool this morning! It looks so good!.) These kids have become so precious to me. Many of them are often sick and
Chris, our missionary, says that a few of them are HIV positive. About 80% of
these kids hold the trade mark of an Animistic culture; strings around their
wrists, that are so worn and old that they are literally thread bare, fraying
off their little wrists, but they are not to be taken off. When they are put
on, just moments after birth, the parents pray for a spirit to come protect
their child, and believe that as long as these children are wearing the strings
on their wrists, the spirits will favor them. Its these moments, when I am
sitting in the preschool, holding these children and giving them some much
needed physical affection, that I feel entirely and completely overwhelmed. I
don’t speak their language so my only means of communicating to these kids that
they are loved is to hold them and play with them. And to pray. As I hold these
small and beautiful children I pray. I pray that God communicates to them how
incredibly valuable they are. How loved they are by the Redeemer and Creator. I
pray that these kids will rise up and be a generation who seeks God whole
heartedly and abandons their animistic culture and background, being the first
in thousands of years to break the chains of bondage and step out in faith,
trusting in the living Savior. It’s in these moments that I realize I have the
power to intercede. To stand in the gap, like Abraham did to save Lot, and to
beg God to turn his face with favor on these kids and their people group. I can
do that. God has given me that privilege and opportunity and has reminded me
that sometimes, when I feel like holding a child for an hour twice a week just
isn’t enough to fix the big problem, I am doing the very most that he has
empowered me to do. Pray.
Once a week us ladies go to another
village, Huay Ja. On these Wednesday nights our girls first walk through the
village and pray with whoever needs it. Sometimes there are reasons to share
another’s burdens; sometimes we partake in peoples joy with rejoicing. Last
week we got there and a guy was having a birthday party J complete with Kanomes (sweet snack) and Soda. We sat in his bamboo
hut with his young wife and young child and prayed with them and sang with
them. Each week after we walk through the village and pray with people, we meet
in the church that has been planted there and Yom, one of the ladies who works
at the Centre, speaks in her native tongue to the people. Though we cannot
understand Khmu, and neither can Chris to translate, there is something I enjoy
about listening to Yom speak. Isn’t this why we are here? To transform
communities who will continue to transform and nurture within themselves. To
see the people who now know Jesus encourage their fellow people in their faith.
Sometimes as I sit there, surrounded by women who have lived lives of hardship,
who have had no one to advocate for them and have carried some burdens that I could
not imagine having to carry, I again feel completely overwhelmed. “What good is
this God?” is my question. These women need medical attention, they need work,
they need food, and sometimes their basic needs aren’t even being met. What
good is a church meeting going to be, I question. And again, its in these moments that God reminds me that
“the very most I can do, is pray.” That is
what you can do Becca comes a steady, sure voice in
my head. And so I pray. I ask God to be present to each women, in each day, and
each circumstance, and you know what? They have joy. These women come together
and we shed tears and we pray and we sing and we love… and then we have joy. We
get to share in the supernatural joy that only comes from the one true Joy
Giver and we leave with thankful and full hearts and again I realize that there
is great power in prayer. That not one of my prayers goes unheard.
Every Friday night our team runs a “kids
club” in another village, Wang-paa. This village doesn’t yet have a church and
are quite animistic. On these nights we do a bible study, a craft, and have a
kanome. I love Friday nights, its one of my favorite. Last Friday there was a
young boy sitting a few kids ahead of me whose wrists were laden with threads
ands strings. There were probably 8 on each wrist and then he also had a
pendant around his neck, again, a way to invite the spirits. I was overcome for
this kid. I cant even explain why entirely…. but I just sat there and choked
back tears because this small boy seemed like he didn’t have a chance. I was so
angry. At the culture, at the traditions, and at Satan, who has sunk his teeth
into so many families in this part of the world, who has been given reign in so
many of these kids’ life. But it was here ,within my deep hurt and anger that
again I heard Gods steady prompting. Pray. So I
prayed. For an hour and 15 minutes I sat in the back of the room and prayed for
this little boy, for his parents, for his siblings, for his home, for
everything. I cant honestly tell you anything epic happened, I didn’t see this
boy the next day transformed, I didn’t see the strings fall from his wrist, but
I trusted. In that moment I chose to trust that God knows what he is doing and
my incredibly finite mind could never understand my infinite God. That God
heard my prayers and somehow, some way, and sometime, he will answer them, and
when he does, it will be perfect. Because God knows far better than I what
timing is correct, what moment is best, and what each person needs.
At least once a day I remember how I got
here. How God connected all the dots together for me to be in this country. I
sometimes cannot believe the miracle that
brought me here (see my earlier blog for details ;) ) Gods faithfulness is
steady and sure. It can be counted on and I trust it entirely. I remember
praying and trusting which leads me to look back and pray in thanksgiving.
Sometimes, actually, most times it is actually pretty hard here. Some sights
are hard to see, some times living with the team is hard, and sometimes certain
jobs are hard. I love when these moments of difficulty collide with my thoughts
on the miracle that brought me here because as I pray in thanksgiving for what
God has done for me, I am filled with Joy! My gratitude is turned to praise,
and in praising I am filled with a supernatural measure of Joy. Prayer is such
a powerful tool and I am learning that each day. Sometimes I recognize the
power of prayer in rejoicing because our team has experienced and seen God come
through and answer in the very way we asked him to. Sometimes I recognize the
power of prayer in silence, with tears, not understanding or comprehending what
God is working and how, but still trusting that he is working. Sometimes it’s a
walk by sight, and sometimes it’s a walk by faith. Always it’s a walk of trust.
Trying to step in the footprints of my mighty God, lest I try to go out on my
own and fail miserably.
I challenge you, whomever you might be, to pray. Remember that when the unimaginable is
happening, whether in circumstances of great joy or deep sorrow, that “prayer
is the very most you can do.” I would invite
your prayer into each of these pictures I painted you today in this blog. Pray
for the Khmu people here, who desperately need Jesus. Pray for the preschool in
Huay Yen and for all of those precious children. Pray for the churches that
have already been established in some of our villages. Pray for our team, that
we would continue to be united under the banner of Jesus. Pray for the Changed
Life Centre, that they would continue to be equipped with everything they need
to work at change here in Khmu land.
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| The Two little girls who have had my heart since day one at the preschool. The one in plaid, Nim, The one in yellow is Pream. Precious kids (Note the strings on Pream) |
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| One of the little girls at our Friday Night Kids club in Wang Paa (again, note the threads) |
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| Praying with a woman and her sick child on Wednesday night during our Huay Ja ministry |
