My Very Own Miracle!

Well folks it has been far to long, the amount that God has been teaching me is unreal and there is no conceivable way to write it all for you! Ima tell you about just a few of the things!

Im learning so much about myself. Im coming to an awareness of things that, with refinement, could be really good, but I am also being shown some things that I don’t necessarily like. God is still teaching me a lot about pride, He is teaching me to be patient and he is teaching me to leave my presumptions at the door and love people without conditions. It’s difficult, it has actually been kind of tough to learn some of these unpleasantries about myself, that’s where my lovely pride comes into play… it sure doesn’t like being corrected. I’m finding myself in a constant struggle with my human nature, I can relate to Paul in Romans 7 when he is talking about being a slave to his sinful nature. Vs 15 “for I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but the very thing I hate.” Paul is taking about the law, and how it was once life but then/now it has become death. I am in that same struggle. I love my lord , thus I want my life to reflect that in every single area. I want to live a life above rebuke or reproach so I want to follow every rule. I want to live by the law. The problem with living by the law though, is that it can quickly turn your faith into something legalistic, what I want is a genuine faith, I’m not looking for a legalistic faith. Oh but God is so faithful in showing me how to do this, there has not been a moment where I have doubted his gentle guidance. I am truly and entirely overwhelmed. My God is so sufficient and so powerful and even when I am wavering or idolatrous he holds me. He carries me to the banquet table of his grace, mercy, power, and provision and he sets before me a feast! I’d like to share with you an excerpt from my journal last week, this is what I wrote word for word.

“God, this sucks. I am so worried. What if the money doesn’t come in? Lord I am weak and I don’t know how to trust you in this”

            “And when the oceans rage Becca, those waves WILL NOT touch you. My love never fails. Becca, my love.will.not.fail.you”

“but love doesn’t produce finances, it cant buy a plane ticket”

            “my love never fails”

“Is this a promise? Jesus, I don’t know what to do with this!”

           

            “ I make all things work together for good. Through ALL the ages my love has not failed people, it has been constant, why do you expect it to be any different for you? Child, my love is constant and it will not fail you. I promise.”

“Lord have your way”

You may recognize these as song lyrics, which they are, but God spoke them loud and clear to me last Wednesday, 4 days before our departure. That last little line of submission was half hearted. I felt so strongly that God was promising me that he would provide for me, that his love would in fact produce the rest of the finances for TREK (3500.00) but I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t wipe the remnants of doubt from my fickle heart. Since the beginning I have believed that God would provide for my financial needs. I knew he would, yet I still doubted. Especially this last week, with just a few days to go and a large sum of money still needed I really began to doubt. I went into the next day carrying some of this doubt, the day that us as a team were being commissioned. Thursday evening we arrived at the chapel excited to be charged and ecstatic to move into the next phase of our TREK journey; assignment. I cannot explain the overwhelming feeling of love and care that I experienced as I greeted so many of my close friends, family, and supporters!  I was so overjoyed that they were there, supporting me and standing behind me. The body of Christ is a beautiful thing. As some of them came in Erin handed me a bag, the bag was full of money. I don’t even know who I just know that a group of my incredible friends had come together and given what they could. Erin explained to me as she handed it to me that though it wouldn’t be enough to cover the rest of the funds, God was going to multiply it like he did the bread and the fish on that hill so long ago. She told me how the group had prayed over the money before they brought it and that God had given a revelation of this. Wow. Sufficient much? God is unreal… I cannot fathom it. I went into the rest of the commissioning service feeling at peace, feeling excited, resting in Gods might and joy. I mingled with a lot of people after the service… when I looked down and checked my phone some hours later; I was informed that an anonymous donor had covered the rest of my trip. Can I get an amen? ;) people, GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!! He is such a provider; It was like he was just shaking his head at me in this patient sort of way… “oh yea of little faith Becca, have I not always been your sustainer , have I not always given you your manna and quail? So it shall be for today again. Take and enjoy what I have given you” My very own miracle. I serve a mighty God, I am all too aware of that as I sit on an airplane, this very second bound for Bangkok, Thailand. WOW. I am entirely overcome with gratitude to my heavenly Father and all the people that followed the gentle nudges in their hearts to support me! There is 8750.00 dollars in an account in my name because enough people supported me enough and believed that God was working in my life enough to support me this way! THAT’S CRAZY! I am humbled and speechless. Thank you friends, thank you family. I could not express the depth of my gratitude if I tried. So instead I just keep freaking out, because this is happening!! God brought me here! He isn’t going to abandon me and he is going to keep teaching me things! I get to keep growing in relationship with him!!!! Do you guys understand what a gift this is? I know I have taken it for granted much more than I would ever dare to even admit but God is working, he is working in me and he is working in you! My dear friend Amanda wrote me a card a few weeks ago, she reminded me in the card of how crazy it was/is that I am on this adventure with God. She reminded me that life is happening. My life has begun, I know it has been happening for a while now but sometimes it just hits me harder and I realize just how big of a deal it is. I AM ON AN ADVENTURE WITH GOD!!! My life is an adventure with God, and it is and is going to be continually filled with abundance! It will be more than I could ever have asked or imagined (Ephesians 4) and even when the oceans rage and the storms come and my world shakes, I will always be sure. I will always have my foundation, I will always have my Lord.