A Turning Point

Today I found out that I have been accepted into the 2012 Winter TREK program!!! I am elated! I truly cannot believe this is happening while at the same time I never expected anything different. Today I was in Vespers singin my heart out and it just hit me, and I have known this all along, but something different hit tonight, where I saw my entire life in a new light. Everything, everything that has happened thus far has brought me to this point. To a turning point.

I was singing tonight and I closed my eyes. I saw myself, like in a movie, a whole bunch of flashbacks of my life. Important moments and important people, all leading up to me standing on the edge of something. It was all in fast forward going really quickly, and then it came to a dead stop on this picture of me now. It was like a stop for a deep , cleansing, self aware breath of air. I stood there for a second just taking a deep breath, and I could see myself about to take a step and I couldn't see into what, it seemed like a cloud almost... and then I stepped and I opened my eyes, and I realized that today was a turning point in my life, something was set in motion that is going to alter my life completely and that is both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. God has been leading me to this point my whole life.

Staring right at the beginning, Bill and Barb. They first showed me what it meant to put my faith into action. Bible studies at their house, talks with Barb after church, summers spent at camp (with all the amazing camp/Tab people like Sharla and Sean and many others) . They built me into a leader all the while instructing me on how to devote my life to Jesus. Bill and his prophesies over my life... the things that God told me through him.

Eric and Syb. I would even know where to begin with them. Eric , right from when he first started coming to camp. Showing me (and us) a whole new way of living out our faith while still having fun. Bringing music into our lives in a whole new way for the first time ever. Syb... oh boy, the way that God has used Syb in my life. An incredible mentor to walk me through some of the hardest, shame filled years of my life. A constant reminder of Gods grace and tenderness. Someone who always held me accountable and always showed me love. Syb taught and showed me what it was like to have the characteristics of a godly woman. As I grew older Syb became less of a mentor (though she still mentored me) and more of a friend. Someone who I could share my joy and my pain with. Someone who always encouraged me and always called me out. Someone who pushed me to pursue godliness. Someone who I knew, without a doubt in my mind, was always praying for me. Syb was the one who encouraged me to come to CBC. She was the one who showed me that I could do anything through Christ who strengthened me. What a gift Eric and Syb have been. Opening their home to me since I was in highschool. I always knew I had a place to go, I always knew I had someone to call.

My family. My parents, who always showed me and taught me what godliness looks like. Their generosity is a trade mark. I have NEVER met any other people in this world who have been as generous as my parents, never counting the cost, always giving of whatever resources they had and have. My dad teaching me how to work hard and how to value the things in life. My mom teaching me how to love in capacities that I only hope to achieve someday. My siblings, each one of them unique, building into me in different ways. Matt, always light hearted and cheerful. Des always generous and accepting, inspiring me to dream even when I just wanted to be a hair dresser. Ariel, showing me how to be care free and loving despite how anyone treats you. Deb , she taught me how to stand up for myself and she showed me courage and willpower that only hope to accomplish someday, and strive for daily. Erin... Erin has seen me at my worst, more than anyone else I think, and she loves me despite that. Erin showed and shows me what it looks like to be tenderhearted and kind. Where I am brass and harsh Erin is gentle and tender. Erin showed me the beauty of art and Joy in Christ. She always pushed me to follow my heart yet always grounded me in the level headedness that I somehow lacked. Erins always pushing me in my faith, always challenging me on what it looks like to follow God.

Donika and Hannah. These two. Man , they have built into me in ways that litterally cannot discribe. Hannah, always being a friend I could cry too, always listening to my crap, always calling me out on things. Hannah is the picture of wisdom that I so often lacked. She has always loved me and she has always pushed me to be the best that I could. When I would forget about my determination Hannah would remind me. When I would forget about Gods goodness and graciousness in my life, Hannah would and still does remind me. Hannah is a gift from God. Donika. Ha, Donika is a descriptive term in herself. Donika reenacts what it looks like to follow Jesus with your entire being, not just half heartedly but entirely. Donika is wise and kind like no one I have ever met before. Donika has truly loved me unreservedly. She has always pushed me to pursue knowledge, and from that knowledge she has pushed me into action. Donika has built into me in such a unique and special way. These two ladies have blessed me beyond words and I would not be at this point without them.

All these people and events added on; Bills death, breakups, moving to Abbotsford, working at both of my camps, going to CBC, being blessed with the unit I lived with... all these things have brought me to here. to this point, and I know there is no going back, and I would never want to. Bill prophesied for me once a very long time ago and he said something about God giving me more than I could ever ask or imagine... and its happeneing. I am truly overwhelmed at what God has done for me. Every person and event both good and bad in my life has brought me and moulded me into this person... which I have always known, I mean, obviously, your past shapes you. But tonight I saw it all in a new light and I could do nothing but fall to my knees and praise a God who surpasses ever feeble hope or wish I could ever have for my life. He takes all my crap and all my short comings and he takes my pitiful strivings and has given me "infinitely more than I could ask or imagine" and I know this isnt the end. My hunger for the Lord is only going deeper and getting stronger and I dont ever want that to stop. Today was a turning point. We sang a song at Vespers "I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back" and it rings so true. I have decided to follow Jesus and I will not count the cost, I have and am still abandoning my life to Jesus and there is no turning back from this. I dont ever want to. This turning point is going to change me, it is going to be stretching and scary and it will probably even be really painful at times. It is going to take a lot of trust and it will take intentionality on my part, but there is no turning back from this point.

Living in the Tension

The last 3 weeks I have been thinking about the tension…  What does this mean? How do I even explain this?

It started a while ago actually, probably during this summer. I joke about it with my profs and even my sister, saying “I have become quiet the charismatic” but the truth is, I have just begun to live in this tension. What is happening that I am realizing my thinking , and therefore also, my actions are turning into something that I am not entirely used too. The Spirit is working in my life and that is something that scares me, something I usually try to shut out… that’s why it is unusual. 

I have found that I am spending more and more time striving for something and never reaching it. I have been confused and even a little discouraged. All I want is to model and devote my life to Jesus, that is literally all I want in my life. If I had to choose people, or friends, or a career, or God… I would always choose God. He Is my number one and godliness is what I am striving for, that is what my goal is. But pure godliness and perfection and making my life a complete model of Jesus’ is not possible. I will always strive for it yet , I know, perfection is not attainable. The Spirit is showing me my flaws and I am convicted to change. The closer I get to my heavenly Father the more I am aware of my imperfections and  short comings. The more I am aware of this the more I am aware of my unworthiness. My utter, complete, and total inadequacy. The more that I become aware of that, the more I revel in what Christ has done for me. He chose me. He chose me and he saved me. My God saved me and is saving me everyday and I deserve nothing but his righteous anger and his holy wrath and instead I am doused in his grace and love and tenderness.

I was talking to a friend the other day, someone who I respect and who loves the Lord whole heartedly, someone who, in my eyes, very obviously has salvation. My friend looked me in the eye and said “I am not sure, nor will I ever be sure of my salvation. On judgment day I could stand before my Father and he could say ‘depart from me, I never knew you’” He actually truly could not tell me that he was sure of his salvation. This shook me a little. I argued with him. “well of course we can be sure, of course we can. We believe in Jesus Christ and we devote our lives to follow him, this guarantees our salvation.” We carried on like this for a while and though I wouldn’t say I agree or disagree with him I would say that living in that mind set is exactly what I have been experiencing these last few months. The mind set of “I am so unworthy and God is so supreme and he could and should deny me but he doesn’t” It’s a tension I realized. Of being unworthy and knowing it, yet accepting this gift… and as I live in this tension my heart literally cries out from in me, “less of me and more of you, stomp out who I am and fill it with everything you are”. Living in this tension, it holds me accountable, it convicts me and moves me, yet it overwhelms me and comforts me. I can hardly stand and sing praises to my God because I should be prostrating my self, face to the ground,  before his holy name. I do not deserve to utter even his name, yet he graces me with his love!!! I do not understand this wonder and I marvel at and in it! And I live… I live in this beautiful tension of knowing what I really deserve, nothing, and receiving more than I could ever ask for. My God is incredible and beautiful and majestic and I want to live like this forever! 

TREK

Now more then ever I believe God is calling me to this. To TREK.


This is TREK:




"Disciples who make disciples

TREK is our most intense short term mission opportunity, designed to help you learn, grow and serve.  Our vision is for "Disciples who make disciples."  You will partner with our international missionary teams as they engage in holistic church planting that transforms communities among the least reached.

Program Structure: TREK is a six (or ten) month intense journey of cross-cultural mission. Paired with international church planters, TREK teams learn by example what it means to be servant missionaries.

Orientation (8 weeks): Our training centre is located in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada. These weeks will be filled with sessions taught by various speakers who share on their area of specialty. Topics include Hearing the Voice of God, the Church, Spiritual Authority, and the book of Mark, for example.

Assignment (7.5 or 3 months): This is your chance to digest what you've learned at orientation with more of a hands-on experience. Hosted by an established church or missionary, you will serve in children’s ministry, service projects, sports, creative witness, teaching English, and the list goes on...

Debrief (2 weeks): A time to rest, recover, and process your experience, as well as learn how to “re-enter” North American culture."

http://www.mbmission.org/trek/overview/

So this is TREK. I got this straight off the website. At the bottom of this blog  I posted two video links. I strongly encourage you all to watch them, they were what gave me the most rounded view of TREK... yeah... I don't really know what to say. God is good and I believe that this is where he is bringing me this coming semester. Its scary, but its exciting. This pushes me to trust more than I ever have... especially with finances. TREK costs about 8600 and thats not including personal costs. I would have to fundraise all of this. This is the most scary part for me but to tell you the truth its also the part I am most excited for. I know God is going to provide. In fact there is not a doubt in my mind. I am so excited to see how he is going to come through for me. He is so beautiful and faithful and I revel in his glory!! At this point in my journey I would ask for the most important thing, prayer. Nothing can happen unless God is orchestrating it so I would be beyond blessed to have people praying and helping me discern and rely on God in this time. I will obviously continue to update you guys through this blog as always and I cant wait to tell you even more about what God is doing!!!!

Some of you might be wondering how this ties into my nursing career. It actually works perfectly. Next semester my slate for classes was pretty much empty. I am doing all my upgrading this semester and that leaves me with no mandatory courses next semester. I would be back from TREK in June, work for the summer and then move right into my Nursing in the fall. Something that has been a little scary for me is not knowing if I will make it into the UFV nursing program. I would also ask for your prayers in this. I am applying at another university in Langley as well for back up but if both of these fall through I wouldn't quite know what to do. So ya :) thats where I am at right now! 

Yesterday I turned 21 and I just wanted to take a quick sec to tell all of you about how amazing my God is!! I AM SO BLESSED!!! Yesterday , just like every day, but even more, I was overwhelmed with blessings!! I seriously cant believe how many amazing people God has put in my life! Like I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart I have more friends than I could ever have asked for. A lot of people only have like one or two close friends and honestly, God has blessed me with a plethora of GREAT friends!! He has been so faithful at bringing friends into my life for certain seasons and when the seasons have changed the friendships have remained! I have a beautiful group of friends who love and fear the Lord and there is truly nothing that is more wonderful than that! seriously. So blessed! God is so good!!! 

I love you all! peace and blessings! 


http://www.mbmission.org/video/trek/2008/why-trek


http://www.mbmission.org/video/trek/2008/team-thailand

My Experience

My experience... how do I begin? Where do I begin? is a better question. UMD - Urban Mission Dynamics, what fitting name for such a dynamic experience. This weekend I went to Vancouver, I stayed at the Ivanhoe, a backpackers Inn on main street and I spent most of my time 3 blocks down, on East Hastings.

This was my second time doing this "mission trip" and to be honest, I wasnt all that pumped to go. Its not like I didnt want too, I just figured that I'd been there and done that and last time I walked away and nothing changed so why would this be any different? They asked me to be a leader for the weekend though, so I went.

Started on Thursday. I had class for 8 hours straight, I had been up till 2 the night before.  I left class early after 8 hours to go to a meeting, the meeting was almost 3 hours long, then finally at 10:30 at night I made it to the hostel grumpy, tired and not all that willing to serve. I went straight to bed where I did not sleep all night, when my alarm clock rang in the morning I was wide awake. During the night I tossed and turned and finally when I realized sleeping would not happen I prayed. I prayed all through the night, not even about anything in particular. I had to get up early because I was taking half of my group to UGM (Union Gospel Mission). We got there early and we served breakfast. After breakfast they had coffee. This meant that the locals could just hang around in the dinning room and have coffee and snacks. Our job during this time was to just sit and talk with people. I met some cool and interesting people. I met a man who used to own a trucking company. He started doing meth and eventual liquidated it and now lived on the streets of Hastings. We served lunch and left. In the afternoon we listened to a speaker and then after dinner we did an "urban plunge" which meant that in groups of 3 we split up and just wandered Hastings and area. We went to gas town and then walked one street over where we ended up on Hastings. I dont know all, I watched people in Gas town walk with their eyes straight ahead, heals and pearls on, laughing... drunk, just as obscene as any other people out there and I saw just as many hopeless eyes as I did on Hastings. The rich are empty too, they were stuck too. I kept seeing all these stuck people. Then Hastings... I dont how to put it in words. The most beautiful, heartbreaking, indescribable scene and people. We sang you make beautiful things out of the dust this morning at church and all I saw were the faces of these people on Hastings. They are so beautiful guys. God's beautiful children. And my heart broke, because these beautiful children of God were/are hurting. The women... They are on every single street corner. These beautiful women who were just born into a crapy circumstance, who possibly made some bad decisions but now they are stuck. they are so stuck. And to be realistic there is nothing anyone can do to make them unstuck and I dont know how to deal with that. My heart does not know how to cope with that reality. Ive learnt a lot this weekend. God has shown me that sometimes I need to re define what help really means. I talked with a guy named Sean at a place called paper cup, the most amazing ministry I have encountered and he was probably in his late 20's. I got talking with him and he didnt seem like he was drunk or high on anything. He was really chill and he started talking about his addiction . It was to music. He was addicted to music, I mean there were other things but the thing that seemed to have him most stuck was his music, that was what was destroying his life. He told me about how he grew up in Manitoba and had a drum set , he said it was beautiful and worth a lot of money. I believed him, some people on Hastings I had a hard time believing but Sean had honest eyes and he was telling me the truth. Sean said his mom remarried when he was 13 and when he was 17 his step dad told his mom it was either him or the kids. His mom chose the step dad and that left Sean without a home. He told me about selling the drums and moving to Van and now listening to this angry music. About being so filled with hurt and anger. About not wanting to call home because it hurt him. He told me about is grandma who had a stroke but still loves him and sits and waits for his calls and prays for him all the time. Sean had hope in his eyes. I told him that. He wept. He was stuck in all this and he wanted to get out but he couldnt. I prayed with him and he just kept talking. Paper cup was closing and his friends had left and already come back several times to tell him to hurry but Sean just didnt want to leave. He stayed as long as he possibly could.. eventually tho, Sean left. I stood up, walked to the bathroom, and dissolved into tears. I had held it together all weekend, this was the last straw. My breaking point. I was so upset with God "why?! why him , It could be me! If I was born into his situation it would be me" I cried till I was spent then I picked my self up, dried my tears and went out and cleaned tables. It was in that moment that I realized that I wasnt going to fix a thing but by spending a couple hours with someone, sharing my own fears and failures and listening to theirs, that was help enough. Sean didnt walk away without an addiction, he didnt leave unstuck, but I think he left with a little bit of love in his heart.

So, This weekend God helped me redefine what help is. He showed me that sometimes help is just sharing love, not expecting change or reaction. He also changed my theology. Where I used to think that unless your faith and your actions were married, you were not going to heaven, I now think that actions dont always represent the heart? I dont really know how to word it I guess... but I know that these addictions aren't the heart of the people down there. The people have a heart for Jesus and they are stuck. Being stuck doesnt make them hell bound, it makes them real. It makes me exactly the same as them, only I am not stuck in heroin or booz. Im stuck in my pride, rebellion, and blatant ignorance. Jesus showed me I was just as stuck as every single person I had encountered the entire weekend. So my experience , I guess, was that there is no them and me. It isnt their addictions and my help. There is just us, a group of people who all have our messes and addictions and failures... all of us in need of a Saviour, not one who needs it more than another. Thats my experience anyways.

I wanna fall in love!!

I want to fall in love! I feel like I might explode with it! and no this is no petty, earthly love. This is a deep rooted, thriving, pursuing, gentle, encompassing love. I want to fall in love with my Saviour. I hunger for more and more intimacy. I do not want stagnancy nor stability, I do not want something predictable and easy. I want Gods thriving, unexpected, earth shaking, stomach quivering love. Something that is uncontainable, and perhaps something that even scares me. This love I yearn for is pulsing with forgiveness, and grace and trust. Total trust. I want to move to the heart beat of my Lord. I hunger for more and more and I dont want this desire to ever go away. I couldnt handle all that God would be able to pour out for me yet I want to move more and more into his will and align what I want more and more with what He says I have been created for. So  "I want to fall in love with you!" (Jars of Clay) so much that it would be undeniable in the way that I act and the words that I say.

"Lord I want more of you, living water rain down on me. Lord I need more of you, living breath of life come fill me up. We are hungry, we are hungry, we are hungry for more of you, we are thirsty oh Jesus, we are thirsty for more of you" (Jesus Culture)

This has been a theme song for me this summer - a cry from my inner most being. I dont always meet my standard, in fact, I fail at more than I succeed. I thirst and hunger for more of Christ yet I deny him in the things I say or do. I strive to mould my life after my Creators yet I fall short time and time again but isnt it beautiful how God renews our passion and covers all with his grace!? " I will not be silent, I will not be quiet any more!" (Jesus Culture) Its like I cant contain what God is stirring up in my soul. I want the whole world to know that Jesus restores and saves and rejuvenates! I challenge you, whoever you might be, to proclaim Gods love. Make your hearts desire to follow in Jesus's will in you life. Loosen your death grip on what you should have given to our gentle Father long ago. Let our faithful Lord take what you know the Spirit has convicted you to give up for Him. What areas of your life are you letting be ruled by the world, search your hearts and pour out to the Father! You will be blown away and blessed and overwhelmed by what God will give you! He promises infinitely more than we can ask or imagine!! guys whatever we might think would be amazing, or whatever dreams we may have... His are INFINITELY MORE than that!! can you even grasp that?!? I cant, but just trying too excites me and brings me to my knees in worship to this God that I want to fall more and more in love with!! I dont know who even reads this but whoever you are I hope that you read this and are instilled with a new passion and a deep yearning within yourself to join me in wanting to fall in love!! Be blessed!

He Who Sustains Me

It has been far to long since I told you about the way that God has been working in my heart, yet now as I finally sit to write I find myself in a place of discouragement. Even in this though, I know my God is working.

Ill start with summer. This summer was the most... unexpected roller coaster summer I have ever had. I came into the summer (specifically working at camp) trying my hardest to have no expectations and to keep an open mind. I have never worked at this camp before and I had only a brief overview of what my job description was. I somehow managed to pull it off - I came in and was assigned my job and I was very excited. I now knew what to expect and what my summer might look like. However, what I was prepped to expect was not what I encountered. This made my summer (the first 10 days especially) difficult in ways I dont think I could even explain rationally. Those first weeks were some of the hardest I have ever expereinced. I found people were expecting things of me and I didnt know how to meet those expecations. I was in an atmosphere where people didnt know who I was, they didnt know how I have always been at camp , they didnt know that at my camp last year I won "the most team spirit award." In their eyes I was the new girl whom they knew nothing about. Which is 100%, entirely normal and expected. It was just hard because in a camp environment I had never been that person. I have always been someone who people knew. I found I had to show people who I was, let them see my personality which might sound like an easy task but I struggled. The program I was working with was quite separate from the regular camp schedule and I didnt get to know a lot of people. If you know me you know that this was hard on me. The most amazing thing though, was that the girls (and guys) (the CITs)  I worked with were amazing! They kept me going and getting to know them and their stories helped me keep my head above water. God was so present and he was working so visibly in their lives. But where Christ is working in big ways the devil is there lurking for any sign of weakness. This summer I experienced spiritual warfare like I never have before. It was exhausting. But Christ, my wonderful Saviour, oh He sustained me. I cannot begin to tell you the ways, physically, emotionally, and spritially. I was sustained- and not even that, I was growing! I was experiencing hard ship and turmoil but Christ in his profound grace continually grounded me and reminded me that he was my source. When I kept going when I knew I couldn't continue anymore, that was God, I know because there is no possible way I could have poured out the way I did this summer unless God was filling the gap between where I fell short and where he wanted to work. It was amazing to see, a miracle before my eyes.

Now I am here. I have begun my studies at secular university and its something else. I am in "Nursing Program Studies" which means that I am taking classes towards being a nurse but I have not yet been accepted into the Nursing program. UFVs nursing program is extremely competitive so this semester is vital to my career. It will determine whether or not I get into the program or whether I will have to re take some courses for the third time. I am taking Chem, Bio, Math and then for credits, Spanish, Philosophy of Worship, and Church and Mission, totalling 18 credits. This is the semester from hell. I hit so many speed bumps with registration that I had to take some credits from CBC rather then UFV. Again, the Lord sustains me, if it weren't for those two classes this semester I would be without a community. Those classes connect me with the CBC community again and at this point in my life I need community immensely. I live with Erin in the most beautiful basement suite that God provided for us. We have no money and we have no resources yet we make it by, every week. The Lord provides people. I cant even tell you the ways that he has been providing for my sister and I.

Yet I am discouraged? I feel anxious and antsy... I dont know what to write because I dont know what is bothering me. I guess I want to see what God has planned for me. In my heart over the last 2 years I feel like God has been building up more and more of a heart for mission in me. This excites and terrifies me. I sat in class the other day and we had a missionary come in and speak to us, I sat with silent tears running down my cheeks because I felt like he was hitting nerves in my soul. Everything he said built up more and more desire in my heart to go and serve the Lord overseas... and every struggle he shared is what I already battle within myself. He talked about leaving your family and the people you love. How it doesnt ever get easier but you do it anyways because thats where God calls you to be, and my heart already begins to break because I cant fathom being so far away for so long. Yet I feel Gods constant tugging within my heart to be willing to leave, to give up every safe "north american" dream that I have to follow him. And he asks me "are  you willing Becca?" and again, I answer yes, because I would rather die then not follow him. I feel like I am always asked the same question, God knows my heart better then I do. He knows what I love most, he knows that I love my family more then anything in the world and it is in this that he asks me to be willing to give them up "where do your idols lie Becca? Is there anything that would not be willing to give up for me?" and again, with my heart breaking I answer that no, I would give everything to follow him, and again he sustains me. He fills up my soul with joy even when I feel like there is no joy to be had.

This is such a confusing place to be in because I know now more then I ever have how sure I am of God. I trust him wholly and completely and I know I am more grounded then I have ever been. But Satan uses my weaknesses against me and I become discouraged and I enter into a wasteland of the soul. I was reading "come away my beloved"(Frances J Roberts) in this and I read "If there is dryness within your soul and you do not have [this] life flowing forth, you need not grieve or chide yourself for being empty. Fill up the empty places with praise. Through praise you may open to Me the gates to your souls temple" would you be surprised if I said that yet again Christ sustains me. When I feel as I do now, I open my heart and pour out praise and adoration and again I am filled. I am sustained. Even as I write though I realized that "being sustained" doesn't necessarily mean being happy go lucky, or abounding in joy, but it means coming to a realization of groundedness, of knowing who is in control and who is orchestrating my life and of realizing that I can trust unreservedly in the Almighty. To me, that is what being sustained looks like.

So as I close this blog this time around I feel lighter, I feel sustained...not relieved of all of my problems or heart aches but I leave trusting in the One who makes all things work together for good and for his glory. Praise be to Yahweh.

the little things

Well, I guess its about time. Its been a while and there have been so many times I thought! That’s sweet , I gotta blog about that then I never do. But whatev’s here I am now. Ill start at the beginning

            So, some friends of ours got married and Chloe was their flower girl and let me tell you, that already beautiful looked absolutely gorgeous!  We were at the reception and it was probably 11:30 pm… not a lot was going on, I mean the usual, a bit of drinking, a lot of dancing, and Chloe comes to me SO upset, crying and sad. If you know me you know Im a sucker for that angel child. I asked her what was wrong and she goes “auntie Bec I lost me earring!” just so heart broken lol. All I wanted to do was fix it. her sweet little eyes just looked so sad. So here I went- on a hunt in a dark room of 300 tipsy/dancing people. Well, I started at the dance floor, no such luck. I know its silly, like really silly, but I was desperate and I wanted to fix Chloes little broken heart so I asked God to help me find it… ha ridiculous really, but I looked up, across the dance floor and there under a table was a tiny little glint – her earring.  I know its tiny but it just made me marvel. Such a big, big God and there are so many other things in the world… I don’t know I guess God just really reminded me how much he cares, even about those little, insignificant details. It made Chloe’s night, but mostly it just blew my mind. I cant believe what an incredible God we serve he is just so intimately close, and I think sometimes we miss it… or something I dunno. God likes to help with those little details I think. Sometimes we mutter up these little half hearted prayers without thinking that God will answer them. We limit him in his greatness I think – saying “he has bigger things to deal with” but we are still his children and thinking from a human perspective, wouldn’t we want to help our kids with everything, even those little things??

            Well that was a while ago anyways, a lot has happened since then. Quite significantly I moved back to Abby. Crazy- the last time I packed my bags and left Abbotsford I didn’t think I would ever be going back… but I got back to Lethbridge and I just missed it. I love Lethbridge, I LOVE being around my family and the kids, I am getting all teary eyed and homesick just thinking about it and I am still on the plane leaving Lethbridge. But something just felt right about going back. Honestly… I like the weather there. I like the scenery. I like the ocean. And living an hour from Vancouver and 10 min from the border. I dunno it came down to those things. I wish I could move all my family out there and then I would be set. That would be perfect! Anyways God has just been good in all of this! He has provided me with a place to live, I got accepted into Uni, starting Nursing Program studies in the fall. Its exciting. Life is just beginning.

            I have so much more to say, but I just don’t have time. Hopefully soon! Tootles guys!